by Rob Furlong
You don’t have to look very far in our world today to see how lacking we are in peace and peacemakers.
Right now, as you read this, there are 22 wars being waged around the world, on five separate continents, resulting in the deaths of 120,151 people in 2022 alone. Some of these conflicts have been going on for decades.
Closer to home, many of us have no peace in our personal lives or relationships. Perhaps a friend at school has turned against you or you are no longer speaking to a relative because of an argument neither of you can resolve.
Many people perpetually live their lives with a profound sense of deep sadness, emotional hurt and estrangement from God and people.
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Tag: Rob furlong
Becoming a piece of world peace
By Rob Furlong
“A smile is the beginning of love.” – Mother Teresa
Agnes Gonxha was born in Skopje, the capital of modern-day North Macedonia and at the age of 18 entered the Order of the Sisters of Loreto with the intention of becoming a missionary to India – she arrived there in 1929. Known then as Sister Teresa, she was deeply moved by the overwhelming poverty and destitution of people living on the streets of Calcutta and sensing the call of God, in 1948 began working to alleviate their suffering.
Eventually joined by a group of young women, she founded the Missionaries of Charity with the vision of providing “wholehearted free service to helping the poorest among the poor.” They worked with AIDS, leprosy and tuberculosis sufferers, allowing them to die with dignity in the Mission’s hospice, provided food, and founded orphanages, schools, and mobile clinics. In time her ministry grew to 4,500 nuns serving in 133 countries.
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Expressing anger well
By Rob Furlong
I used to think the best way to deal with my anger was to push it down deep inside of me where it had no chance of escaping, say nothing at all and give the appearance of being calm and collected.
I learned painfully, however, that this is just as unhealthy a behaviour as expressing anger inappropriately.
“Be angry, and yet do not sin,” the Apostle Paul tells the Ephesians.
“That is easier said than done!” I hear you say. “I mean, is it reasonable to think you can express anger without hurting people or damaging relationships?”
Paul certainly believed it was.
Think carefully about what he is saying.
Firstly, it is ok to express anger.
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Anger can torch your relationships
By Rob Furlong
Angry people can do a lot of damage.
If you haven’t discovered this yet, listen to the advice of The Incredible Hulk’s alter-ego, Bruce Banner, who politely warns all those who would provoke him, “Don’t make me angry – you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry!”
His message is clear: “Get me angry and you will unleash the beast, and it won’t end well for anyone…”
Unresolved, uncontrolled, and inappropriately expressed anger leaves a destructive wake in relationships, both for those on the receiving end, and the angry person.
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It’s time to grow up emotionally
By Rob Furlong
“Many people may be, chronologically, 45 years old but remain an emotional infant, child or adolescent.” What a perceptive observation the author of Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Peter Scazzero, makes here! He was commenting on how many people grow up physically but never grow up emotionally.
To illustrate his point, he describes the various stages of emotional development that we need to pass through as being: that of the infant (totally focussed on having our needs met by others), the child (where our happiness or otherwise essentially depends on whether we get our own way or not), the adolescent (where we are concerned only with ourselves and don’t express much empathy for others), through to the final stage of becoming an emotional adult.
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An end to the endless winter of the world
by Rob Furlong
In C. S. Lewis’ wonderful book, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, Mr. Tumnus tries to describe to Lucy how dreadful life has become because of the reign of the White Witch over Narnia.
“It’s she that makes it always winter. Always winter and never Christmas; think of that!”
Under the iron fist of the White Witch, life in Narnia is devoid of love, hope and real joy.
Over the past 18 months, much has been said and written about the deep loss of hope and joy people are experiencing.
All around us, anxiety, mental stress, and fear reign supreme and as Mr. Tumnus said, “It’s always winter and never Christmas!” (I know many of you reading this live in the Southern Hemisphere where Christmas occurs in summer, but I’m sure you understand the point being made!)
People long deeply for peace of mind, fulfillment, and joy.
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Finding perfect meeting of meaning
By Rob Furlong
With the amazing increase in technological devices over the past 15 years our ability to stay in touch with each other, even in some of the remotest parts of the world, has increased exponentially. I would like to suggest however that our ability to communicate meaningfully with each other has not progressed at the same rate. If anything, it has gone backwards.
On a holiday a few years back (which included a buffet breakfast in beautiful tropical surrounds each morning) Karen and I were amazed at the number of couples sitting across from each other at the breakfast table gazing into their … iPads! In such a beautiful setting how sad it was to see people desperately checking their Facebook status rather than connecting with the one they claimed to love forever.
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Clarifying questions can combat confusion
By Rob Furlong
I had to pick up my grandchildren after school recently and being a reliable grandfather, I made sure I was there in plenty of time before the bell rang.
When I arrived, my grandson was outside his classroom door with one of his friends and busily packing his bag in preparation for leaving.
My grandson’s friend looked at me and turned to him and asked, “Is that your Grandad?”
“Yes!” answered my grandson.
And as naturally as you please, his friend said, “He doesn’t look funny at all!”
Two thoughts immediately went through my mind.
First, I was pleased I didn’t look funny!
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When you’re in a spot of bother
By Rob Furlong
Do you remember the story of Winnie-the-Pooh visiting his good friend Rabbit one day and following a wonderful afternoon tea, (where Pooh clearly ate too much) he became firmly wedged in the hole that served as Rabbit’s front door? What followed was a highly amusing – and insightful – conversation between the two of them:
“Rabbit wanted to go for a walk too, and finding the front door full, he went out by the back door, and came round to Pooh, and looked at him.
‘Hallo, are you stuck?’ he asked.
‘N-no,’ said Pooh carelessly. ‘Just resting and thinking and humming to myself.’
‘The fact is,’ said Rabbit, ‘you’re stuck.’
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When a conversation is crucial
BY ROB FURLONG
Conversation is a part of life. We talk about all sorts of things and ideas; we talk to people and yes, we talk about people – conversation has a huge impact on our relationships.
And so does a lack of it. Have you ever regretted not having a conversation with someone?
Perhaps you feel you are being given the “cold shoulder” by a work colleague or your partner is upset with you about something. You know something is wrong between the two of you, but the other person isn’t saying what (apart from a few unsubtle hints) and you are too afraid to ask.
What needs to happen in situations like these is what some have described as a “crucial conversation.”